My Fitness journey…. So far

Before children, I had very little interest in excersise or keeping fit. It looked way too much effort and nobody I spoke to about it seemed to really enjoy it. I have always been quite lucky with a trim figure and maybe a higher metabolism so burned off fat quite quick so never felt the need to do much excersise. Walking the dog was as much as I’d ever done. 

People say your body changes when you have children and of course its true but since having the boys I’ve definitely become more aware of the way I look. I gained 2 stone with Clark and got back to being 8lb off my pre pregnancy weight before falling pregnant with Cain where I didn’t gain as much but took longer to shift afterwards. 

When returning to work I had to work alongside Aaron, who is a fitness instructor as well as a barber. After speaking to him about a few things i eventually plucked up the courage to go along to one of their classes and I’ve never looked back. I’ve had a few PT sessions with Tara, Aaron’s wife. She helped bulid my confidence higher when using gym equipment and about myself so I was able to go alone. Now I can’t say I’m a pro but i can actually do the classes a little easier now and have much better upper body strength compared to when I started where I had none. (I’ve actually got muscles in my arms now! – love them!!!) 

I go to classes at least twice a week and up to 4 times if I can make them. I prefer the classes to excersising alone as its great to meet new people and achieve new things alongside others. 

I find excersise a release for me when I’ve had a bad day with the boys and helps takes my mind off worries too. I like to think I eat healthier now and I do try but I’m a sucker for puddings and chocolate. I don’t eat them every day but I still don’t deny myself of them either (chocolate also relieves stress 😍 along with wine 🍷which is good for the mind 😉) 

I’ll continue to push myself so I become a hot mumma!! I need to be fit to run after them. With Cain now walking, I’ll have 2 monsters to run after now. 😅

My before and now pictures are below 

Michelle x

Our journey with potty training…. So far!!

Where to begin..? We decided a few weeks ago that we were going to go for it over Easter, as we would both be at home and had no plans for outings, but on Monday March 7th I decided that I was going to venture into it alone. 😳 Clark seemed ready. He had showed a lot of interest in toilet training before hand and had managed many wees on his potty before a bath. Well… it was possibly the hardest day of my entire parenting life. Asking Clark for what seemed like every 30 seconds if he needed a wee or not to just get a reply of “No!”, his favourite word. As the day went on I began to regret it as tempers frayed and we were both struggling to get to grips with it. After we’d all had lunch and Cain had gone for his nap it seemed to calm a little and he managed 2 wees on his potty so at least we managed that. Overnight I couldn’t stop thinking about whether he was ready or not and whether to continue.

The next day  I got up and put a nappy on him for nursery as I was so unsure what to do. I explained to nursery what I’d done and I was almost desperate for them to say “yes go for it” or “no he’s not ready”, but I didn’t get much response. So I spoke to his key worker later on that day who said just to do it and they’ll help as much as they can to my relief. Also speaking to another friend on the phone who very recently had done it with her son helped set my mind at ease so I decided on the Wednesday I was going to do it and stay calm and hope for the best. 

On the Wednesday I was armed with 700 peppa pig stickers (for encouragement) and a rough chart to gauge accidents vs successful potty wees. Altogether it was a much better day. He did have three accidents to be precise but nine wees on his potty. 🙌🏻 Hooray! I did have my friend come round with her son so that helped too just to keep us both going. 

On the Thursday he had no accidents so I was thrilled, but still he was incredibly stubborn on using his potty because he still hadn’t figured out to say he needed to ‘go’ so it was a mission to get him on it. The calmer I was the better he became!!

 The days passed reasonably well. There have been accidents. But it’s mainly him just not getting there quickly enough. It’s helped enormously that we moved the potty to the toilet so we have somewhere to go rather than it in the living room, but the last few days he can hold it much better. I’ve googled sooo many times about potty training and read a book too but today we both said its just time he needed and the last two days we’ve had no accidents and he’s told us he needed a wee. 🎉🎉🎉 👍🏻👍🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 We’re so thankful for that as its worried me as to why he’s not said anything and that maybe he wasn’t ready but, in fact, he’s done it. I can’t tell you how proud of him I am and the first phase is over.

Now we have to get him to do no 2’s on the potty/toilet and not in his nappy before he comes out of his room first thing in the morning. Then for him to actually use the toilet!! 

One step at a time but he’s certainly on the right track now. 

Michelle x

It’s been a while…

  I thought I’d better write a piece as I’ve not done so for a little while mainly because I worry that I bore people with my subjects/rants etc. Hopefully it’s just me overthinking things as always but I do know I can go on about things….  (Myself) Sorry! 😊

So our life this year so far has been the usual of getting through one day at a time and not getting too upset with the bad days that we do have which is hard and letting go of certain frustrations and worries we carry around. Easier said then done 😥 it’s mainly me that does it and it’s something I truly hate about myself. I’m hoping that with time and age that you find it easier to let things go over your head and not look into things so much. 

Also I HATE Google! Thinking it has all the answers to help with parenting or any subject when the answers don’t work for everyone. The fact you can ask any question at the tips of your fingers and then think why have I just looked that up as then the replies you receive makes you worry 100x more. 

After my recent search into google I went and sat in the bath with a chocolate bar and cried. 

I wish sometimes the technology we have now didn’t exist and the social media too. No matter how helpful it is to some the peer pressure you feel is awful to ‘fit in’or ‘conform’is not much fun. I honestly really try not be one of those but you get swept away by it all and then before you know it you’re part of it and then when it doesn’t go your way – FAILURE. 

Like I say I’m hoping in time these feelings ease with age as I’m not sure I can cope with any more feelings of being a failure or rubbish. I’m hitting the big ’30’this summer and I’m thinking now a mummy of 2 and being 30 will help?? 😂 and somehow overnight I’ll start thinking differently. Who knows. 

Until next time

Michelle X 

Two boys

Thought I’d share a poem written by Chris to me. Was given to me in my Christmas card. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Two boys
Not long ago, we were just you and me,
oh and Missy the dog, so that makes three.
But now we have been adding to the clan
and that started with our first little man.

Clark came along after months of trying.
August 21st, 10:03 first heard him crying.
I learnt to change nappies by watching on YouTube,
but all he was interested in was sucking on your boob.

He soon turned into a lovely chunky chap,
always getting himself into some kind of mishap.
We had a fright when we had to take him to the Docs,
all was fine, he was brave, bless his cotton socks.

We only just had time to catch our breath
when out of the blue came another pregnancy test
It was a shock to hear but it didn’t make me sad,
that soon I’d have another person calling me “Dad”.

Thirty nine weeks, in the hospital again.
You’re popped, I’m in shock, lots of screams in pain.
Then, I really struggled to hold back my tears of joy
when I whispered to you “we’ve got another boy!”.

Cain came along to be Clark’s younger brother,
but now I’m adamant that we won’t have another.
It’s not that I don’t love being a dad,
but the sound of more little feet would probably send me mad!

It’s tough at times for you i know
but I would really like to say.
I’m so proud and thankful for what you’ve done
bringing the boys up in a great way.

Finally I’d like you to know
I’ve loved you from our first ‘Hello’.
Now we’ve tiredness and mountains of toys,
but I couldn’t imagine life without our two little boys.

Happy Christmas!

Chris is brilliant as these poems and have received one or two before of him. 

Hope you like 

Michelle x

Whirlwind…

Wow! Time is flying, seriously flying. In less than 2 months my baby Cain will be 1! 1! I honestly can’t believe it. Some days I hope he grows and gets through certain stages then on others I’m scared that’s he’s not far off a Toddler and I’ll no longer have a baby. 😥😢😢 He’s now on the move crawling And pulling himself up. He’s got more teeth appearing and weaning has got ever so slightly easier. He’s delicious and soooo cheeky!!  

Now my other tornado is on a good run right now. Eating well and biggest of all NO DUMMIES! Mean mummy threw them in the bin!! After day 3 he never asked again for them. Very proud of him. Also I’m not potty training but 4 days in a row he’s done a wee on his potty and it’s like a switch has flicked on and has realised what it’s for. Not pushing it too much and going to wait a bit longer unless he asks to use it more but again he’s a champ!! All growing up and not able to stop it. Trying to embrace it!! And cry quietly too. 😢😢

   My weeks are flying by more with being back to work 3 days a week and juggling all other mother/wife duties so honestly I do feel like I’m in a whirlwind. I crave a normal day but it doesn’t happen and weirdly I think I would be bored!! 

Now Christmas is fast approaching and I’m very excited to see the boys faces on Christmas Day!! So much more fun when you have small ones around. 

Michelle x

9 months

  
Today, Cain is exactly 9 months old. On this day when Clark was 9 months I found out I was pregnant with Cain. 

Honestly, the shock was incredible. It took me weeks to come to terms with that I was a) pregnant and b) about to become a mummy again. I’d always wanted children and was hoping there would be 2/3 year gap between having 2 but it’s not what reality had planned. I really thought that there was no way I could do this again with such a small gap and it did worry me a lot the whole way through pregnancy. How was I going to get anywhere or anything done?? 

9 months in…. Well my life is good, chaotic but good. I see now that they should become friends in time and that I’m glad I had them so close together. I’m not going to lie and say life is easy as its not. I find on my days when I’m on my own trying to get a good balance of  housework/playtime is hard. Tantrums still plague us and normally its when we are out and about but in general they are ok. They both eat well and sleep well so I guess I should be thankful for those small graces and they are both here and healthy. 

This week has been #babylossawarenessweek. Sadly, I know of a few people including myself  that have been through a lot of heartache with miscarriages and stillborn births. It’s not something people talk about to much as it’s just as hard to talk about as to think it. We went through a miscarriage too before Clark was born. Ours was an early miscarriage and even now when I remember I was very emotional. I had to keep telling myself that there must have been something wrong and this was kindest way of telling me. 

I’m so sad we had to go through that heartache but I now see how lucky We are to have those little boys. I only wish people didn’t have to go through those sad times too.  

Michelle x

 

Returning to work

  

Tonight whilst putting away the toys, I thought to myself that Clark and I could have lunch in the conservatory tomorrow as he enjoys sitting there together. That’s when I realised we can’t, as I’ll be at work. I cried! 😢

Not once over the last 2 years have I really thought about going to work and feeling guilty about it but for some reason today I do! I’m lucky as I’m only going to be working 3 days but still I’m feeling a little heartbroken. Maybe it’s because I’m not planning to have another baby so I won’t get this time again, I don’t know. 

A few weeks ago I actually couldn’t wait to get away from it all and feel normal but since my post “tantruming two’s” it has changed and calmed down. 

We’ve been able to tune in to Clark’s speech which has helped enormously and we’ve had some really lovely days. Although I’m still struggling to get out the house alone it’s become more bearable to be at home. I’m finding the more time I spend with Clark the more he’s learning and it’s an incredible feeling to think these seeds I’m planting in his mind are growing everyday. He’s learning something new each day whether it’s a word or number, kicking a ball or just loving a particular book to read and read again. I’m getting a real buzz from this part and it’s a great feeling. Now I’ve realised I’m really going to miss his company and of course Cain’s too. Cain has changed so much as well with his new motor skills. Time is flying so fast and I’m scared about what I’m going to miss as Cain is still so small I just wish I could just wrap him up and keep him at this stage. 

Although I have all these feelings I also know how Clark loves nursery and that Cain will too. I know that the social aspect of nursery is good for them both and I don’t want to take that away from them. Since Clark has started at his new nursery he’s already become more tuned in with certain   areas ie potty training. (Not started but definitely more aware). A step in the right direction anyway. 

Going back to work is something I need in my life for my own sanity some days but I’m going to miss them very much. 

Michelle x 

 

Trolley dash

One of our weekly chores is the grocery shop. Sometimes I do it alone when the boys are in bed, sometimes I take one along depending on what day it is and sometimes I have to take both along. When I have both boys it starts to become difficult as I need a trolley with a baby seat and child seat. By now I’ve become wise to which super market has these trolleys but I’m a little annoyed that not all supermarkets have them. Especially the 2 I want/try to use the most Aldi and Lidl. I think these are now very popular supermarkets especially marketing towards the family! 

(Aldi nappies rock and so do their wipes!!) 

So yesterday I take my mum along with me as its crazy busy and can’t wrestle the trolley, Clark and Cain in a sling on my own let alone trolley dash at the end where they put your food so fast through the checkout you break a sweat! 😥😥 my mum even said about the trolley situation. That’s what got me thinking to write this blog no matter how boring the subject is, it’s a real problem for families with children very young. 

I understand they don’t have the biggest shops but they shouldn’t cater so well for families if they’re not going to make it easy to shop there. OR they need to change it so you can do online shopping with them!! 

I don’t have the greatest record with online shopping. I once ordered a chicken that I thought was going to cost £5 instead it weight 5lb and we  had to get an army to eat it with us! Also I ordered a bag of pre chopped cabbage- they sent 3! The best one to date is that I thought I’d ordered a good amount of bananas as you have to put the weight in rather than how many, I received 1 banana; 1 very small banana. I’m still willing to do online if they did make it online? Slim chance. 

So to sum it up Aldi and Lidl need to invest in some more family friendly trolleys to help people like myself. It’s tiresome and hard work otherwise!! 

Michelle x

  

August

Where has August gone?? It has flown by so quick and I feel a little sad! 

We started off our month with the boys christening. It was a lovely day with great sunshine wine and loads of food!! And of course all our guests!! The boys were so well behaved and we were very grateful to them for being so good. They had some lovely gifts and lots of cuddles from everyone. It’s so great when you can get people together for a few hours to celebrate,catch up and for some to meet new people. Our venue was also brilliant and staff helpful too. 

   
    
 Amongst things, we’ve had our nieces here from Devon so managed a quick outing to family day with them where Clark experienced his first fairground ride. He loved it and we had a hard time to pull him away!! (Sat with cousin Belle)

   
   Finally it was the big day of Clark turning 2!! We sent him to nursery (meanies I know) for some of the day as that is his normal day but brought him home for birthday tea and cake!!

He had a great day and enjoyed all his gifts and loved his cake! Just can’t believe 2 years have passed and he’s growing so fast. Although this year ahead maybe one the hardest to deal with he’s still so great and caring. I can’t wait to see how he’ll be this time next year!! 

   
 To the next month!! 

Michelle x

Tantruming two’s

wow, where has my lovely little Clark gone!!! He’s now been replaced with this scene most days….

  Now I always thought I had good patience but as of late it seems it’s not as good as I thought. He really knows how to make me feel terrible and quite honestly a rubbish mummy. It feels that whatever or however I try to comfort or entertain him it’s wrong! 
I have always heard people refer to being 2 as the “terrible two’s” but not really believed it-until it’s your child. 

Clark will be turning 2 on Friday so he’s hit this stage earlier than forecast but still it’s like I’m having to get used to a new child. I have no idea most days how it will be and I feel I’m having to tip-toe around him just so we don’t have a meltdown. 

Obviously I still tell him NO in certain situations and tell him off when needed but I just don’t seem to please him or make him happy. After a few weeks of this now I’m starting to take it personally. Racking my brains to change the situation or make light of it. 

I’m now in a horrible phase of not really wanting to go anywhere because of the tantrums as it just becomes hard work, stressful and by the time I arrive to a place it’s time for food for one or the other boys(mainly Cain) so activities and days out are few and cabin fever sets in for all.   

This by far has been the hardest couple of weeks of parenting so far for me/us. We have many more stages to come too but still each one takes by surprise and need time to get used to it. 

I still love Clark a lot, he’s beautiful!! And he’s mine but some days…. 

  

Michelle x