9 months

Today, Cain is exactly 9 months old. On this day when Clark was 9 months I found out I was pregnant with Cain. 

Honestly, the shock was incredible. It took me weeks to come to terms with that I was a) pregnant and b) about to become a mummy again. I’d always wanted children and was hoping there would be 2/3 year gap between having 2 but it’s not what reality had planned. I really thought that there was no way I could do this again with such a small gap and it did worry me a lot the whole way through pregnancy. How was I going to get anywhere or anything done?? 

9 months in…. Well my life is good, chaotic but good. I see now that they should become friends in time and that I’m glad I had them so close together. I’m not going to lie and say life is easy as its not. I find on my days when I’m on my own trying to get a good balance of  housework/playtime is hard. Tantrums still plague us and normally its when we are out and about but in general they are ok. They both eat well and sleep well so I guess I should be thankful for those small graces and they are both here and healthy. 

This week has been #babylossawarenessweek. Sadly, I know of a few people including myself  that have been through a lot of heartache with miscarriages and stillborn births. It’s not something people talk about to much as it’s just as hard to talk about as to think it. We went through a miscarriage too before Clark was born. Ours was an early miscarriage and even now when I remember I was very emotional. I had to keep telling myself that there must have been something wrong and this was kindest way of telling me. 

I’m so sad we had to go through that heartache but I now see how lucky We are to have those little boys. I only wish people didn’t have to go through those sad times too.  

Michelle x


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